I was a perfect mom before I had kids

Before I had kids I knew exactly what I was going to do as a mom.

-My kids would never watch more than a half hour of tv a day.
-They would always be dressed in the cutest outfits with hair done perfect, a perfectly matching bow, and shoes to finish off the outfit (even before they needed shoes).
-I would play for hours with my kids every day doing puzzles, games, and singing songs.
-My house would never be dirty with kid's toys all over the place.
-The kid's toys would stay in their rooms, leaving no trace of kids in the living room or main living area.
-I would make nutritious and delicious meals every single night.
-My kids would NEVER be that kid in church who was bouncing all over the place and talking loud enough that everyone in the chapel can hear. They would sit quietly and read books and color reverently all through the meeting.
-I would be so patient with my kids as to never yell at them and especially never spank them.
-I would stay busy all the time improving myself by making glorious crafts and homely decorations non-stop while I stayed home with my kids.
-I would always be in a good mood when my husband got home from work to show him my appreciation for all the hard work he does for our family.
-I would loose all my baby weight within days of having a baby and look just as good as the day we got married. (I actually took PRE-PREGNANCY jeans to wear home from the hospital when I had Avrie. Duh!)
-My kids would sit at the table with awesome table manners and eat whatever was set in front of them without complaining. (Naturally, since it was all nutritious and delicious, right?)
-My kid's rooms would be decorated perfectly and completely color coordinated as their own little nursery with their name neatly hung on the wall.
-I would LOVE every minute of staying home with my kids and fulfilling my life-long dream of being a stay at home mom.

THEN I HAD KIDS...

And this is what my life looks like. (Please don't judge me, I was perfect before I had kids, you know.)
My unmade bed. You can see the pillow barrier I put up because I laid Boston next to me in bed this morning and went back to sleep.
This one needs no explanation.
This is as close to 'put away' as these toys ever get. Shoved in the corner of our living room.
The pile of dirty clothes on Avrie's floor. I'm not even going to show you the pile in my room, it's too embarrassing. It's about 6 loads of laundry just piled in the corner!
"Boston's Room" aka: Computer room, craft storage area, misc box storage, bookshelves piled with random stuff... ok it's not really his room, only his bed (that's actually a pack and play because we didn't want to buy another crib) in the midst of a huge mess.
My awesomely dressed kids. Yes, it's 2:00 in the afternoon and Avrie is still in her pajama top with no bottoms on. Even better, Boston is still in his clothes from yesterday that he slept in last night and I still haven't changed him.
My lunch. Chex muddy buddies and a Dr. Pepper. It's no mystery why I haven't lost that extra poundage from having babies. In my defense, Avrie had left over spaghetti so at least her lunch was healthy.

How's that for the perfect mom I thought I would be?